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life after I am gone.

I have died a thousand times in my head, each time, I never worry about how my kids would take it, I often just wonder if my sisters would be okay...
I have no doubt my kids would be well catered for ......
My worry always in my head is, if I would have fulfilled my assignment from God? .....
Would I die empty?
Would there be a young girl I failed to help reach her full potential?
Would I make it to heaven?
Is there a heaven?
What would my life look like if it had been different?
Many unanswered questions race through my mind....
No answers yet though.....
Last 2 weeks I had the scare of my life, what if my plan A died? , She had fallen ill and that made me think about my kids should I die.....
........
I can't put words to how I felt in those long couple of days before her temperature returned from cold to warm.
But it made my walk with God better......
I have mentioned often how I lost faith...... And how I have stopped attending church.....
But I found God again, I found my faith and my hope is restored....
Why do I write these things?
Someday in the future, if God permits and uncle that owns blogspot permits on these streets, all you would have are these words, you would read them over and over again until you can recite them with your eyes closed and this would be where you feel closer to me......
Because then, I will be worshipping with the host of heaven and loved ones long gone.
.
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The end! 🤣
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